Guess Who Am I? 猜我是谁？

Singapore

新加坡

The hot topic recently, people are scammed out of money by so-called 'friend'.

最近很火的话题，人们被所谓的‘朋友’骗了钱。

I also encountered it.

我也遇到过。

One day

某日

Scammer (S) 骗子

Me (M) 我

S: Hello 喂

M: Hello 喂

S: Do you know who I am? 你知道我是谁吗？

M: You are... 你是。。。

S: You don't recognise my voice? 你认不出我的声音吗？

M: You are... 你是。。。

S: So heartless, don't recognise me at all! 真没良心了，尽然认不出我！

At this point my brain's CPU crashed...

此时我脑的CPU当机了。。。

Normally at this point of time, I would have hang up the phone.

通常在这个时间点，我会挂断电话。

Then a name blah out from his mouth.

然后一个名字从他的口里蹦出来。

M: You are XXX? 你是某某某？

S: Yeah la! 是啦！

M: Why with Malaysia accent? 为什么有联邦腔？

S: May have picked up my Malaysian friends' accent, as we are discussing about opening a cafe. 可能最近跟一些马来西亚的朋友讨论开咖啡厅的事宜，所以跟了他们的腔调。

M: Oh, you are setting your own cafe! 你准备开咖啡厅噢！

Seeing that I took the bait, he started luring me into his den.

看我上钩了便打蛇随棍上，开始跟我哈啦起来。

M: How about your daughter? 你女儿还好吧？

S: Just like that lor. 就这样喽。

My friend's daughter has a congenital disease, it is definitely not "just like that lor".

我朋友的女儿有先天病，怎么可能就一句“就这样喽”带过呢？

M: Remember to inform me when your cafe opens. 记得咖啡厅开幕时告诉我。

S: Sure. Oh yeah, this is my new number and you can delete the old one. 当然。哦，对，这是我的新号码，你可以把旧的删除掉了。

I actually deleted this friend's mobile phone number.

我还真的把这个朋友的手机号码给删了。

The next day

第二天

S: Hello, it's me. 喂，是我。

M: Hello, what's up? 喂，什么事吗？

S: I am at my new cafe, settling something. 我在我的新咖啡厅，解决一些问题。

M: What happened? 发生什么事？

S: You know what, yesterday after chatting with you, I left my mobile phone at the new cafe and it was lost. 你知道吗，昨天跟你聊完天，我把手机落在新的咖啡厅，结果丢了。

M: Why so careless? 为什么那么粗心？

S: I am settling the bills with the contractor, and can you lend me some money first so that I can go buy a new mobile phone? 我正在跟承包商结账，你能不能先借我点钱，让我去买个新手机？

M: How much? 多少钱？

S: Can you transfer S$1,000? 能先转一千新币吗？

M: I don't have so much. 我没那么多。

S: Then how much can you lend me? 那你可以借我多少？

M: You know how poor I am, why don't you borrow from other shareholder first? 你都知道我是个穷鬼，为什么不跟其他股东先借？

S: We had pumped in all our savings into the new cafe, can you just lend me some first and I'll pay you back in a few days. 我们已经把所有积蓄投入了新咖啡厅，你能不能先借我一些，我过几天就还给你。

M: Sorry but seriously, I don't have money. 对不起但真的，我没钱。

S: Can't you even lend me some? What about S$500? 你真的一点都不能借吗？500新币呢？

M: You know I am nothing better than a beggar. 你都知道我跟乞丐没两样。

S: Really can't help? 真的不能帮吗？

M: I am really at the end of the ropes, I'll give you a big ang bao when your new cafe opens. 真的山穷水尽啦，等你咖啡厅开幕再给你包一个大红包吧！

From that day up till now, no news from "my friend" of his new cafe any more!

从那天到现在，再也没有“我的朋友”关于他新咖啡厅的消息了！

P/S: Ang bao means red packet.

注：联邦腔指的是马来西亚腔调。